Am I Worth Dying for?

 Am I worth dying for? Several months ago when I was at the worst of my sciatica pain I was encouraged by a very dear friend who is knowledgeable in the understanding of pain and how it relates to our life experiences,  to say to myself, "I love and approve of myself."  Thinking positive and telling my self positive things would be good for my healing process.  For some strange reason I could not say those words out loud let alone to myself.  I was very uncomfortable in even thinking them.  This prompted me to begin to evaluate WHY I could not say those words.  It wasn't until recently that I was able to really process it and think it through.  I came to the conclusion that it sounded arrogant to me and I have always detested arrogance. I know me better than anyone else and I don't "love" or "approve" of a lot of the things I do or say or even think.   I tried to apply those words to what I know as a Christian and who I am in Christ.  I prayed about why saying those words was so distasteful to me.  This past Sunday in church we sang the song "Potters Hand" and on the screen was a picture of a potters hand shaping a vessel.  The words to the song are:

 Beautiful Lord, Wonderful savior I know for sure all of my days are held in your hands 
Crafted into your perfect plans

You gently called me into your presence Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life Through your eyes

I'm captured by your holy calling Set me apart. I know you're drawing me to yourself
lead me, Lord. I pray

Oh Take me, mold me, use me, fill me I give my life to the potter's hand
Oh Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me I give my life to the potter's hand

You gently call me into your presence Guiding me by your holy spirit
Teach me dear lord to live all of my life through your eyes

I'm captured by your holy calling Set me apart. I know you're drawing me to yourself
lead me, Lord. I pray

Oh Take me, mold me, use me, fill me I give my life to the potter's hand
Oh Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me I give my life to the potter's hand

This started the thought process all over again.  What I am - is being shaped and molded by the Potter.  All my experiences and trials are His doing to make me what He desires.  He loved me and died for me even though He knew what kind of a person I would be!  I still can't say those exact words, but I CAN say that because of Christ in me "I love what He is shaping me into" because now I feel that I am giving Him the credit - the ONLY thing that's good in me is Jesus.

Another step in this thought process was a prayer that I recently came across by Eleanor Roosevelt as she was thinking about our men and women in uniform that goes like this:

"Dear Lord, lest I continue in my complacent ways, help me to remember that someone died for me today. And if there be war, help to remember to ask and to answer, am I worth dying for." This got me thinking about all the service men and women that have died to protect my freedoms - I want to be worth dying for!  As I thought about this phrase "Am I worth dying for"  I was immediately reminded that the Lord DID lay down his life for me - HE thought I was worth dying for - soldiers die for my freedom, but the Lord died for my soul.

Thank you Lord for saving my soul, thank you Lord for making me whole, thank you Lord for giving to me Your great salvation so rich and free!